Today was one of those days where you just want it to be done or to curl up in a ball and wait for tomorrow to come. Maybe not that bad but it was just one of those hard parenting days. I think parenting should be like medicine--doctors are allowed to "practice medicine." I think we are always "practicing parenting." I heard one of the general authorities say or I read it in a talk--something to the effect--that parents take too much credit if their children do something great or do something wrong. It's so true...especially the latter. When our children act up (at least I do), I tend to blame myself and feel like it's reflection of me or that other people are thinking that I am horrible mom...etc. Just to backtrack--Eliza, Libby and I picked up Ellie and Hattie from Brian's parents' house from their sleepover, then we went to my parents' house. We loaded up and went to my dad's summer program. The girls were a little obnoxious on the way and just nit-picking at each other. We went today because the Brady's (my mom worked with Dotty for LOTS of years at Pioneer) brought their animals to show the summer program kids. So I took my girls to see the snakes, tarantulas, turtle and gila monster. They did well during that. Ellie and Hattie had no problem petting the snakes. In fact, Dotty put the snake on Hattie's lap and she just petted it. So funny! I was back several feet! She put it on Libby's lap, but she didn't' like it. Eliza pet it I think. They also touched the turtle. That's it. We had lunch in the cafeteria after that and had ice cream. On the way home, Libby was a bit difficult--just picking at Hattie and such. We went back to my mom's to pick up my car so we could go to JoAnns together to get some batting. My mom had my girls and I drove my car so we could just leave from there. Long story short--one of my girls just continued to be difficult and misbehave despite warnings. So she had to sit in the car with my mom while we went in. She was just very difficult and not very nice to me or my mom (or her sisters!). SOOO frustrating. Eventually she calmed down and was fine. But anyway--it's one thing to deal with tantrums at home but when she is mean to others, it is not fun. Like the quote I heard, I tend to blame myself and think other are thinking I am not a good parent...blah blah blah. Of course I can't be totally blame free, but I've been pretty down the rest of the day after that. Tomorrow is a new day, right? Hope it goes better. Tonight Brian took Eliza swimming at the resort with my brother and his family. We were all supposed to go but Libby lost the privilege from her earlier episodes. Hattie still had a little fever, so I kept her home. Ellie was all ready to go, then had an accident in her swim suit. Another reason for my downer day--like the straw that broke the camel's back. That is something that we've been dealing with for over a year. Ack!!! So I kept her home, too. Once again--thoughts of people saying, "Why can't she figure it out?" "What's wrong with her?" go through my head. Add to that another child who won't use any restroom except at a house and a very reserved/shy child in public, etc., I am starting to feel like a failure!
Hopefully one day I'll look back at this entry and laugh. But until then hopefully writing about it with be cathartic and maybe one day my girls will benefit from reading about hard times I had as a mom and maybe it'll help them get through any difficult parenting times they are going through.
1 comment:
Don't be so hard on yourself. Keep doing what you're doing. It will all work out....eventually. I know, that doesn't help much in the moment, but it will get better. Remember, everyone has their agency and sometimes we need to let them espress it and hopefully come to realize how they can do things better the next time. You're right. Tomorrow is a new day.
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